This is a phase. I am home with a (darling) infant child and unable to make work at the rate or times I would like. It will pass. The child will grow, daycare will start, and I will return to work full time. Knowing all this does not make me feel better about not making much work lately. These feelings are compounded by the fact that I’m not satisfied with the work I have been making. As Woody Allen quotes in his oft cited joke:
“Boy, the food at this place is really terrible!”
“Yeah, I know; and such small portions.”
Small portions of bad art means I’m not giving myself the opportunity to work through the friction of the subpar work. The answer, as always, is to keep showing up. But it’s hard to properly show up when you’ve got a little person to care for. Your time is divided. For me, being in the physical space of our home is a double edged sword. It makes it easier to transition to work once the baby falls asleep, but it also means I see things like laundry and dishes and feel the tug of restoring order to our space. Part of the compromise towards getting-studio-time-with-a-baby-around will have to be letting the laundry and dishes sit a little longer.
As to improving the work– Plants to Know cards!– I’ll keep showing up as much as I can and try to be smart about what’s not working. So far: too nostalgic and precious, not graphic enough. Perhaps gouache isn’t the right medium here. I’m going to stick with it and hope I’m not engaging in the art version of sunken cost fallacy.
In the middle of this stint: the pleasant satisfaction of finishing a custom map for my brother’s upcoming wedding. Snippet below.
